“Something is wrong with you,” she said.  

Do not misread that sentence. She did not ask, “What” is wrong with you. She said “Something.” 

“I just want to see you happy,” she continued. “You put on a smile but I know you aren’t happy. What are you looking for? I’m tired of seeing you abused and taken advantage of. So what are you looking for? Who are you looking for? 

After I stared at her in disbelief for at least 10 seconds, I simply told her, “myself.” 

Some of what she said was true. I too was tired of being abused, so I got out of it. Note the use of the word “was.” That part of my life is long over. I’ve worked through it and have never looked back.

And we’ve all been taken advantage of. But the point of that is to start looking at people harder, deeper – all while entertaining the idea that most people are good hearted, and do have good intentions.  

It’s great that my long-time friend, (is it OK to call here a “frenemy” at this point?) wants to see my happy. But the main point she was getting at, not so subtly, isn’t true.

For the most part, I am happy. Everyone has their bad days, but I honestly can say (and many friends and family would agree) that I am actually in one of the happiest points in my life.

I’m finally embracing independence and time for myself. I have always had a full social calendar, but when I don’t have plans one night or weekend, I no longer stress about not being around people. Instead, I take advantage, and do something strictly for me. 

I still love the girl and always will. But for obvious reasons what she said really irritated me.

The back-story on this group of friends is that most of them have been dating the same people for years. And the people they are dating are the people we grew up with; Mechanicsville – Atlee High School style. 

I fully believe in “different strokes for different folks” and so accordingly, if I don’t question her decision to stay in Mechanicsville, buy a house and marry the person she met almost 10 years ago, why is it acceptable to question someone who just isn’t at that point in her life? 

Why is it that at only 24-years-old I already feel like the Bridget Jones of the group? 

The following Monday night at RPM (cycling for those who don’t know the Les Mills style of group gym classes), the instructor kept encouraging us to push through the pain of heavy gears and high speed by telling us, “You can do it. Your Race, Your Pace.“ 

That got me thinking. They say, “life’s a journey, not a race,” – or whatever – some version of that.

So why am I being made to feel like I’m in a race against time, and others, to meet somebody “special,” shack up, settle down, throw on a ring and pop out a couple babies before I reach my 30s?

I don’t want to get into divorce rates. Nor do I wish to debate the existence of true love and/or soul mates. It doesn’t matter what I believe in regards to all of that. But what does matter is that friends of mine don’t pressure me to feel like it’s all I have to look forward to – a man, a husband, a co-dependent.

I’m still green in my career; hell I’m still trying to figure out what it is I’m actually GOOD at. Some would agree it’s this. Others would argue it’s beer-bonging (Three seconds flat. Challenge me.)

So I’m choosing to head down this journey of life, love and happiness at my own pace. My Race, My Pace. Don’t get me wrong, I’m looking for love (and probably in all the wrong places – the original “Urban Cowboy,” Johnny Lee, had it right).

But it’s not my only goal or my sole purpose in life.

And speaking of races, I should mention that I’ve decided to run the Shamrock Half Marathon on the weekend of March 20-21 in Virginia Beach. Go team me!

If you were reading this blog last year, you know that I trained for and completed the Monument Ave 10k. And that I started the blog to keep me accountable.

That didn’t happen. But I’m hoping this time it will.

This time I’m sticking to it – the training, the blogging; everything. This time, I also have both strong, supportive writers AND runners on my side (you know who you are.)

It’ll be My Race, My Pace. And hopefully it isn’t too shabby.

In spinning class, I absolutely hate it when the instructor or other spinners turn on the turbo fans even before the class starts. I like to feel the sweat. I like to know I’m working hard. But, not so much with running.

As I mentioned before, I easily psyche myself out (“Head Games – Foot Pains’). I did it over distance when training for my first race and I’ve found myself doing it now since the weather has gotten hotter, the air thicker and to top it off, my feet have been hurting like they haven’t before.

But on Thursday night, after wearing my running shoes to work all day with  the arch supports firmly in place, it finally felt good to run. Griffin and I set off down Monument, turned at Davis, again at Floyd and headed down towards the Boat Lake. We made two trips around and started back.

Overall distance – Run: 4; Walk: 1.

The arch pain was definitely gone and I was stoked. But now, a new demon has appeared; blisters. They’re minor and located right where the arch support insole ends, but I won’t let them slow me down. Nothing a few Band-aids won’t help!

I’m switching out my long Saturday run for a long Sunday run this week. Tomorrow morning Griffin and I have plans to run 4-4.5 miles before the heat hits.

Next week, a group of friends and I have rented a house in Duck, NC in OBX. It’s a much needed break the mayhem of work and life, but one thing that I won’t be escaping is the need to keep training.

Any tips or thoughts about running at the beach? I know we’ll need to get up early, to again beat the heat, but I’m also wondering about running on the beach as apposed to running on the pavement. I’d much rather run near the water if it’s still practical. Leave me your thoughts!

***

On a side note – check out Google today!

Have a great Saturday everyone!

Gellin' like Magellin'

I did however pop on over to the store to pick up some Dr. Scholl’s Women’s Arch Supports, and so far so good. I wore  my running shoes to work today (some of your are jealous, I know) and I think they are really going to help my running.

I’m trying to fit in a 30 minute run before Body Pump class at 6:30, but if I can’t, I plan on just doing another 2.5 – 3 mile run this afternoon before Griffin’s softball game (provided it doesn’t get rained out).

That’s all I have on the blog front today. It’s cloudy, it’s rainy and all I really want to do is curl up on the couch and watch a movie. C est la vie!

Griffin, Bear and I went for a run last night around 9 o’clock. Instead of heading to the Carillon we chose Monument instead – 3 miles. I don’t know what it is about my body and this sport, but if it’s not one thing it’s another. I used to complain about how bad my shins hurt when I ran; how my lower legs literally felt like they could snap in half.

Now – for the second run in  a row – I’ve had some serious arch pain issues. It first started in my left foot and now it’s also moved into my right.

I don’t know if it’s because I slacked off a bit for the last month, but getting back into a routine and feeling good about it isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. Griffin was a great sport and tried pumping me up with positive thinking, feedback and some distractions to keep my mind off of the pain, but I let my negative thoughts about the heat and my feet get to me. And let me just say, thinking those thoughts out loud, was not the best idea for my running company. Sorry boys…

I used to be a barrier against the negative. In work, in life, in relationships – negativity and those people who thrive on it are always there. They’re more powerful than you think; but I used to repel against it.

After our run, Griffin and I sat and talked a while about how some of the negativity that I brought home from work could be hindering  my dedication to running the Rock N’ Roll Half.

“It’s mind over body, Steph,” he said. “Your body can do much more than you think. People have pushed through worse.”

And he’s right – arch pain is not the end of the world. So instead of complaining about it, I’m going to do something about it and then KEEP WORKING TOWARDS MY GOAL. I looked up some of the symptoms and it looks like I either have a case of fallen arches or plantar fasciitis. Either way, both can be helped by arch strapping and insoles. I’ll be using both in the near future.

On a side note: Griffin and I’s conversation led into a more personal, reflective look at our relationship and those relationshps we have with other people. We both realize how lucky we are to have each other and those other people in our lives who support us individually and collectively. So thanks to everyone I call a friend and/or a loved one. I’m very blessed to have such wonderful people in my life.

****

UPDATE: “Better Running through Walking” – Great article for half marathon/marathon motivation and reassurance, at least for me. Can be found here .

Thoughts? Post them below!

Below are some pictures!

The first – me getting dropped off on Broad St. about to start the race. I was so nervous and I couldn’t stop stretching and jumping around. My toes were also FREEZING – thanks to the awful shoes I wore. Ooops!

Before the Monument Ave. 10k

The second – my time! I finished the 10k in 66 mins – which I was happily surprised about.

10k Race Time - 66 Minutes!

During training the farthest run I made was 5.5 miles. So when I hit that mile marker during the race, it was easy to start psyching myself out about never finishing.

But I did! It might have been my own determination or it might have been the lady towards the finish line holding a sign that read, “Almost time for 5 GUYS!” Either way – I crossed the finish line, hands in the hair and a smile on my face.

There were multiple times along the way I wanted to stop and walk. Spots where supporters and the bands were scarce. Spots where I saw people who had been running slowing down to a walk in front of me. But I pushed through it and I still have my number hanging on a board in the kitchen.

Since the race, Griffin surprised me with a gift certificate to RoadRunner in Carytown where I purchased a new pair of Saucony ProGrid Guide 2‘s. They’re silver & yellow and help with my overpronation. Meaning no more sore shins! Literally, from the moment I put on these shoes and went for a run – I’ve never felt better. (So yes, David – you can say “I told ya so” until you’re blue in the face!)

Also since the race, Griffin and I have signed up for the Rock n’ Roll Half Marathon on Sept. 6 in Virginia Beach. Training started yesterday with a day of RPM at Gold’s Gym. Essentially it’s cycling class but … not? Difficult to explain the difference. But it was great and my legs are just the tiniest bit sore today. Class went for 45 minutes. The sweat was abundant. 

Today – running picks back up with 3 – 3.5 miles around the fan. I’ll most likely head down toward the Carillon, around the boat lake and back.

Up until training began yesterday – I was having a hard time finding the motivation to get up and moving. I think I need a goal (i.e. a race) to help keep me on track. Which is great because for me, it means I’ve discovered a passion that I never thought existed in me. So anyways, I went looking for inspiration and I came along this post from Runner’s Lounge. Although it’s a year old – it spoke to me. So much so that this excerpt is now hanging in my kitchen:

My motivation to run is within me and not about waiting for an external force to kick in.  To the extent I believe in the immense impact running has on my life helps me make time to run, train smarter, rest better, eat healthier, and support other runners.  For me, it’s about tapping into my beliefs that:

• Running brings out the best in me
• Today’s run (or recovery) can benefit me in multiple ways
• Running achievement comes in small, incremental progress
• Running is integral to my success in other life experiences
• I have already and can continue to achieve running success

Believing in my running breeds the motivation I seek, and everything else—the discipline, excitement, enjoyment, and achievement—follows!

I’m going to try MUCH harder to keep track of my traning this go around. I”m really excited for the half marathon, and although a little scared I believe in myself enough to know that I’ll finish!

On a side note: Since this is a blog about weight loss – I am a dress, pant and shirt size smaller than when I started 10k training. That’s roughly 10-12 pounds for me. I rock – woot woot!

I know I’ve been MIA. And all I can say is that while I’ve been juggling work, running, play time and trying to ward off the crazies in my life (2 in particular)…blogging sort of took a back seat.

But  I have been training. And today, I’ve got some down time at work around lunch, so expect an update!

On Sunday Griffin and I went  up to Waynesboro to visit with his family for the Superbowl and had such a great time. There, I discovered that I’m a champion horseshoe player; which is to say I was actually able to roll a few into the box between the others that I was unintentionally throwing at everyone else. Whoops!

On Monday David and I took the train up to D.C. to attend a conference at InterAction, focused on getting neglected emergencies media coverage in the U.S. The panel discussion — great; group activity — not so great. It was a bunch of ego-pumping; I don’t respond to that well. So we left early for a couple of beers.

Then…on Tuesday.  It hit me. The stomach flu. I thought maybe it was just something bad I ate while up in D.C. but from about 3 to 7 p.m.on Tuesday evening I could not move from my bed because I had such a horrible fever.  Went to the doctor today and they confirmed it.

I’ve missed two days of work so far, which sends my minor control freak side into a panic. And more importantly, I haven’t been able to run since Saturday morning.

I’m feeling really bummed about the whole thing. Griffin is in Vermont at Mt. Snow this week, training for his Level 3 Prep Exam. Before he left, I told him how much I would miss him and to combat that, we decided that this would be the week for me to really concentrate strictly on my training and finding a new apartment.

The latter is in the works, but my running has really suffered. I thought about trying to get out there and walk tonight, but — (and pardon the TMI) — I haven’t been able to stay out of the bathroom for more than 5 minutes at a time. The only thing I’ve eaten today are two whole grain waffles and a popsicle (the FireCracker kind — F’ yessssss).

I really hope I wake up feeling almost, if not fully, 100% by tomorrow. But even if I do, I guess I’m afraid to push myself to pick up at 3 miles since I know I’ll still be a little dehydrated and weak. On the other hand, I’m afraid that if I don’t, I’ll lose my stride and get all messed up in my training.

Any advice out there people? I’ll be here — sipping on a ginger ale, watching my 8th movie of my sick leave and waiting on the phone call that always makes me feel better.

Work this week got to me a little bit; I don’t know whether it’s because I’m still a little new and getting used to not as fast a pace as I’m used to in the newsroom, or if it really is because things need to change around there, but I was only able to get in three workouts this week.

That had me a little worried, but after 2.5 miles on the treadmill (or as David calls it the “dreadmill”) on Tuesday, I decided to spit in the face of cold winter weather and head outside. And there…I ran 3.3 miles!

I had mapped out what 2.5 would be on MapMyRun.com, but once I got going, I simply made my own route. I started zig-zagging between Roseneath and and Belmont not thinking it would add that much to my distance.

But it did and I couldn’t have been more excited! Then this morning, another 3 miles with the 10k team; it was so wonderful. Everyone really pumps you up when you get going and I even found myself giving shout outs to a few others who were struggling!

Thursday night my shins and my knees were feeling the run, but on Friday morning the pain was gone so I hoped that was over and done with. But this morning, every time my feet hit the pavement, I was feeling it. I even took a couple Advil before our run.

I know I have no room to complain since it’s clearly my fault that I haven’t been to get new shoes yet, but DAMN! Can a girl get a break?

On a side note (and since this blog is at least a little about losing weight disguised as a tracking system for my 10k training) I have lost five pounds! And my jeans are starting to get all baggy around the legs; ask Griffin (the bf) he knows.

I can also tell my arms have slimmed down just a tad. Weird thing to notice? You tell me.

For the rest of the rest of the day I’ll be viewing an apartment at 10 a.m. then heading back over the Southside to walk Bear (Griffin’s adorable Boxer pup) and spend the rest of the day with those two.

Speaking of Griffin — I’ve got to give him a shout out. He’s been one, if not my biggest, supporter through this entire process. He always wants to know how my runs went, how I felt about them, how I’m feeling about the race, what my goals are. And although we’re both notoriously known for oversleeping almost every day, on Saturdays he never lets me forget that I have somewhere important to be, for myself. So thanks, you.

Oh and thanks for the comments everyone! It’s great to hear from you!

Plus my shins felt like they were giving out on me all day. I also skipped my run yesterday for a number of personal reasons but here it is…Tuesday evening and I’m BACK! Thanks to the wintry nastiness outside, however, I’ll be doing my 2.5 miles on the treadmill this evening. I wonder if those two days of rest are going to get to me at all?

I’m also wondering how much harder it’s going to be to really want to get in those 2.5 miles indoors. I’ve done a complete 180 in regard to my exercising preferences. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love the gym and all those fun GGX classes. But as far as running is concerned, being outside is so much more stimulating. And although it shouldn’t take  a genius to figure that out…I’m just now discovering how much I really like it.

After my run these past two Saturdays, I’m also surprised to find how much I like the colder weather. Even this past Saturday, although the weather was beautiful, I think had it been a tad bit cooler I could have kept going for miles and never even noticed. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I’m not a cold weather person…but I guess that’s something I’ll have to get used to since it also seems I’ll be picking up the fine art of skiing in about another month!

After my run I plan on doing some ab and arm work. Back at JMU, I used to hop on over to the free weights all the time…but there’s something that’s kept me away at Golds. Maybe it’s because I was in better shape back then, or maybe it’s all the grunting coming from that section (despite the 10,000 signs requesting ‘no excessive noise making!’).

Either way…I’ll be on the free weights or the machines. I’m hoping I’m ballsy enough to get back to the free weights.

I’ll try and blog after my workout, but I’ve got a delicious barbecue salmon salad and special desert to prepare for two people who have already had one hell of a week. And it’s only Tuesday! Wish me luck my fellow calorie-counting/weight-watching/running-rebels — whoever you are.

Alliteration is hot.

Today we ran 2 miles. I ran 2 miles; no stops. A small feat for those who have been doing this for a while, but a huge accomplishment for me. The weather was/is unbelievable today. No gloves, no earmuffs, no sweatshirt — which means I got to sport my cute new running gear from the one and only Tar-get.

The run went by as quickly, same as the last. One of our coaches, Eric, emailed us earlier in the week. He gave us a heads up on our routes and talked about the minor aches and pains we might feel during these first two weeks of training.

It’s like he read my mind. Although anyone will tell you I’ve been a huge fan of Cycle and Body Pump at Gold’s Gym for quite a while now, the new experience of running along the pavement is definitely affecting me.

If I don’t make a conscience effort to stretch before and after a run, my knees hate me for at least two days. My shins are taking a beating and I absolutely have to make it a point to get to RoadRunnerin Carytown for some better shoes.

Due to these early morning runs, I’ve really gained a new appreciation for the River City. AT 8:15 a.m. on a Saturday morning, I can’t think of any other place I’d rather be than running along the James. It’s absolutely peaceful and I’m starting to wonder why the genius of spending my mornings down there hasn’t struck me before.

I also love seeing how many fellow runners there are up and at ‘em on a Saturday morning. On the way home, I saw at least six people running down Main St. A group of four girls just ran by the house when I stepped out to get something from the car. Another man was crossing the street.

I’d like to think that those of us who push ourselves out of bed early on Saturday mornings, share a little secret about the peacefulness of Richmond.

We may have potholes, too many one-way streets and a plethora of revisions to make on Downtown…but now that I’ve seen the city from the eyes of an early morning runner, I want to spend my entire day relishing in all Richmond has to offer.

As far as the rest of the day is concerned — I’ll be making a pot of coffee and doing a little reading on the front porch for the rest of the morning. Laundry, apartment hunting and daydreaming about a lost pair of ski pants  will take up the rest of the day.

My training schedule says I’m supposed to rest tomorrow, but I’ve got the urge to get up again and map out a run around the Fan. We’ll see how my shinny-shin-shins feel about that.